05.19.26

Today I set up my domain name and subbed to hosting on here (neocities), in addition to building this skinny HTML skeleton-ish website. My hair is greasy and I feel agitated. I didn't read the old magazines I got from Paradise Found yesterday. In my neutral flow state I missed my Removery appointment. Idk if all of these things are related or not. I have a tendency to feel completely useless and unproductive regardless of literally doing stuff. I think I need to take a break from weed. I hope I keep up with this thing.

Now that this thing has some bones I can wake up refreshed tomorrow. Seeing Smerz in the evening, but already dreading work the next day...

05.14.26

I figured this would be a good first entry than any other because letterboxd is where I started getting comfortable writing paragraphs that no ones gives a fuck about publicly over the years. I have copied my comments from letterboxd for Derek Jarman's Wittgenstein (1993). I only made a single edit to it but you'll have to read through it to find it...

Unexpected hopecore for me tbh. That scene where he goes to the Soviet Union to be a manual laborer but will only be given a teaching job reminded me of this wojak comic.

The gay stuff was great. James liked that Bertrand Russell was in it because he's reading one of his math books. It was too quirked-up British for my taste. Like the same feeling I get seeing Indian old people with Anglophile paraphernalia/knick-knacks/baubles (iykyk — I'm picturing my late grandma's commemorative Queen Elizabeth Ruby Jubilee horse and carriage set). Like it's harmless and may have some artistic merit, but I don't like it personally.

Also in the spirit of treating this as a time capsule of my life: Gwen selected our pre-feature watch of this skate video since we had gone to Greenblock beforehand.

I fell on my ankle going down a ramp but I got back up and cleared it anyway.

The video took place in Akron, Ohio. Gwen didn't know Alex was from there. As the video opened with Cindy Lee's Diamond Jubilee, Alex and I just looked at each other and started yelling at the same time (we saw Cindy Lee together last November in Brooklyn).

The video ended with a Black Market Karma song I listened to a lot a year ago when I was depressed and stuck with an 1190 Saturday afternoon slot I felt too stingy to give up

Maybe it's the insomnia making me delirious this week, but I felt a sense of nostalgia and sadness watching it.